Saturday, January 29, 2011

american candy and a little bit of history

so i've been putting off writing this for quite a while now because i feel like, although a lot has happened, very little of it has been of any actual note. and now i can't remember most of it (no, not because i've been drinking at all, but because, really, none of it has been of much note) i feel like making this into chapters. so that's what i'm going to do. that way i don't have to have plot between the stories. which works for me (and probably also for you, because nothing happens really in those story gaps)

LAW BALL AND BLACKBERRIES

so i guess one of the few things that was really worth note was the repercussions of the law ball.

i don't know if i've ever mentioned this before, but whenever beck and dharini go out without me, annaliese and hugh they get into trouble. well maybe not trouble, but certainly some interesting hijinks. so the law ball was before hugh got back from greece, i'm not a law major and thus was too lazy to go (and also too lazy to spend the 90+ dollars admission) and annaliese went. so at least they had some protection.

so for the most part everything turned out alright. beck made a new best friend (whose name is kenny but she thought it was kennedy and spent the next 4 days stalking him nonstop in an attempt to find him on facebook [she eventually did but it was really because dharini and annaliese spent about 10 minutes stalking him and happened to find his friend--apparently beck's not very good at stalking and annaliese and dharini are pros--i'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing in either case? probably good for beck?] anyway it turned out that he had been looking for her too but in her intoxicated state at the law ball she had given him her name as rebecca niumei-niumei-niumeitolu. so he was pretty confused i guess.

she also had her beloved blackberry disappear. so because it was so close to her birthday and because she's like the hardest person to get gifts for ever, we decided to try and get her a new one. which required both the making of a facebook group, and a parody of shakespeare. this was the description....

Two black things (or so she thinks), both alike in dignity,
In frigid Canberra, where we lay our scene,
From ancient love break to new mutiny,
Where the devil's water makes Bec do stupid things.
From forth the fatal loins of these two loves
...A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with her loss face her parents' wrath.
With the joyous passage of her nineteenth year,
And the continuance of Rebecca's mourning,
Which, but your cash, nought could remove,
Her blackberry is now our duty to replace.
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What she shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

By the way, for those of you who can’t be bothered to translate Shakespeare, which we’ve clearly done so well (Canberra’s an interesting place):

Once upon a time, a tall, drunk, half-Tongan child was sitting next to an unnamed ranga. This is the last time Bec was seen in the company of her beloved Blackberry. Fair ladies and brave gents, take up this quest and give us your galleons so that we might reunite her with her most cherished possession – her Blackberry.

Any donation would be much appreciated.
The utmost in secrecy is required in this endeavour.

and this was the picture that i made to go along with it.



yep, my photoshop skills are amazing, you don't have to say it. hugh was like "good job cause the girl in romeo and juliet was wearing a white dress too!" and i was like "that's cause it is her dress. i just photoshopped becks head onto it. swqqwwwe3e <-- he's currently sitting next to me and watching a movie [lost in translation] and decided to spaz out on my keyboard. ANYWAY so hes a little bit silly. he also had no idea what the jist of the group was. but we still love him anyway

chrissy, on the other hand, is not and understood the concept completely, even writing in shakespearean prose on the group's wall:

"O, swear not by the ranga, the fickle ranga, the inconstant ranga, that nightly changed Bec's phone-retrieving ability, Lest that her drunken ways proved too much for her memory.....in other words, you guys are ace and yes, count me in ;-) "

UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that because beck is responsible and plans ahead, she had insurance on the phone and could get a new one with no fee SO then we were left with no gift ideas. i had gummy shot glasses to give her [the perfect melding of food and liquor for beck, i thought] so i did that and then everyone else did other stuff. annaliese on the other hand we all agreed was easy. i got her the tackiest snuggie i could find back home in target.

perhaps i should explain. the first thing i can remember annaliese saying to me was something along the lines of "oh youre american!? do you have a snuggie!?" and i was like ..........no.

and she described how she really wanted one and it was really endearing so of course i had to get her one.

BIRTHDAYS

so anyway we did stuff for their birthdays. annaliese was the 7th of august and beck was the 8th so we celebrated them together. so they both wanted ribs so we went out and got that and then we went out and stuff.

it was funny because before we were going to get ribs (well i got fish and chips--i know, getting fish and chips at a steakhouse sounds like a lame way to go but honestly they were like the best fish and chips of my life [dharini and i had split them and a steak last time we went there] so i figured, why not) dharini and beck's friends chrissy and charlotte were going to come and surprise beck. welll it was meant to be a SURPRISE. but dharini could'nt think of a way to get them here without beck finding out so we tried to send beck on with everyone to the restaurant (the reservation was in my name) and leave dharini here and they'd walk over with her, no problem.

well beck didn't want to leave dharini alone. so i had to pretend i wasn't ready, even though i was, so that dharini would have an excuse to stay here and wait for chrissy and charlotte without beck knowing. so i'm brushing my teeth going "GO GUYS! were gonna be late! me and dharini will meet you there it'll be fine!" and everyone's like "yeah it's no problem we'll definitely go" (because they knew about chrissy and charlotte) and becks basically saying how she cant leave dharini. it was cute. so eventually we get them to leave and everything works out and we meet them there and it was a lovely reunion for them and it was cute.

here's some pictures:



happy 19th annaliese and beck!



the birthday girls and me. we're now officially only a year apart in age..until october.



annaliese, amy, beck, anna and becca.



me and hugh--beck took this picture. not 100% sure why she decided to take it at an angle (she may have said something about it being arty or something) but i still like it anyway. really i'll just use any excuse possible to put up pictures of me in that shirt because its my new favorite.

boring tangent. ANYWAY

so then we went out for their birthday that night. a little past midnight a drunken beck decided she really wanted to go home. so hugh, dharini, chrissy and charlotte (beck and dharini's friends from home) and me go outside and figure were going to leave. but then we cant find annaliese and she's not answering her phone. so there were tons of other unilodge people inside so i tell beck "it's ok if annaliese wants to stay then we should let her. it's her birthday and she'll be fine. she knows plenty of people in there" to which beck gives a garbled response that was basically "NO. WE CANT LEAVE HER WITH ROLAND. I DON'T TRUST ROLAND. WE CANT LEAVE HER WITH HIM"

so basically dharini says she'll go back into the club to get annaliese.

so she waits in line for FOREVER (even though she cut---somehow i think that had something to do with her having to wait in line longer. something about them making her go to the back or something) but i never see her get in so i assumed she was still in line and then looking for annaliese and couldn't find her.

meanwhile beck is describing to charlotte how she really wants pizza. something about pineapples and cheese. which eventually just means (because shes doing her word association thing again) that she wants cheese. so they get her pizza. and dharini's still not out with annaliese.

so its FREEZING OUT. i mean you can see what i'm wearing and it literally gets freezing here which isn't a problem whenever you're in somewhere cause then it's perfectly warm/hot so there's no point in me carrying a jacket cause the only time i'd need it would be the like 10 minute walks to and from wherever we are top unilodge and stuff so it's just not worth it. SO I'M FREEZING.

so i'm like fine i'll go in, find annaliese and dharini and bring them back out. everyone else out here is entertaining themselves, they don't need me so it'll be fine i'll just run in. so i go to the line to the club and WALK RIGHT IN. turns out, DHARINI WAS IN THE WRONG LINE.

so i walk in and of course i see them right away AND THEY'RE DANCING. so i'm extremely angry cause i'm out there FREEZING MY BUTT OFF and they're warm and entertained!! i could have killed them, i really could have. so i'm like DHARINI BECK WANTS US TO LEAVE NOW. and her and annaliese give me a drunken answer like welllllll let us say bye to everyone first so i'm like fine. but then they don't move!! they just continue dancing!!

this is me---NOT PLEASED. mostly just cause we'd been standing out in the cold for a half an hour plus. that's right dharini, i said it once and i'll say it again I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU RIGHT ABOUT THEN. but you already knew that. YOU OWE ME. that's right. i said it. WHAT.

anyway they come out, convince beck she doesn't need them and that she'd be fine going home without them and i offer to take beck home cause my partying mood was dead anyway (well maybe not dead but certainly hypothermic).

so we come back to unilodge and i make nachos and try to convince her that she wants to sleep in annalieses bed because we don't have her key and thus can't get into her room. WELLLLLL beck's way taller than me and decides she wants to go to her room anyway. and i try to convince her to stay in ours cause it's warm and she can sleep up here and she's going "no it's fine i'll just wait for dharini outside of ours" and i'm like IT'S COLD I'M NOT WILLING TO DO THAT. so shes like ok fine then well just go to 117.

and well, stopping her wasn't REALLY something i was capable of. and although i try to convince her out of it, saying that they're probably asleep or that they wont answer the door she says she'll just sleep on their couch and has me knock and brett answers. he's the only one awake. ben's asleep and the rest of them were gone (i think). so basically we go in and talk to brett and ben wakes up and comes out with us. so basically we're sitting there when everyone else arrives home and comes to 117. so that was fun. and warm. CAUSE WE WERE INDOORS.

so then beck, dharini, chrissy and charlotte go to their room and we find out the next day that dharini and beck got into a relatively minor fight for drunk-and then they argued something like:

dharini: fine i'm leaving
beck: fine. leave. i don't care
dharini: (walks out the door)
beck: WHERE IS SHE GOING! WHY IS SHE LEAVING?!

and that's really the end of that story cause i can't remember anything else worthwhile happening.

in retrospect it was relatively funny. or at least bits of it were. i mean the bits where i wanted to throttle dharini are kind of entertaining in retrospect too. the freezing part was not-awesome. and the parts where anyone tries to reason with drunk beck are always entertaining, at least for me.

OTHER GOING-OUT-HIJINKS STORIES (actually make that story, singular)

i guess it was...oh actually it was the thursday before beck and annaliese's birthday so i guess technically i should move this up but that's just too much trouble right now. so anyway we go out and not a whole lot happens until i go to the bathroom. and then i come out and i'm looking for everyone and there's this huge parting in the crowd so i just walk through (stupidly not realizing IT'S A FIGHT) and then i realize it and see dharini go next to her and try to pull her away. well in my attempt to pull dharini to safety, trumps, a nice kid from unilodge gets a punch thrown at him and someone ends up knocking into me and i end up falling backwards still holding onto dharini and into the crowd behind the fighters.

basically they all help me up which was nice and then all of us get out of the club. well it turns out it was like some random jerk hitting on beck and trumps sticking up for her and then apparently the guy called him some racial slur (hes like half islander or something) and it broke into a fight. trumps fortunately got out with nothing worse than a split lip and we saw the jerk arguing with the bouncers trying to get back in. well we all decided we wanted to go home after that.

anyway i include this story for two reasons. first, because dharini thought it was cute that i was trying to protect her and then tripped and fell over and thus did a poor job at protecting her (haha) and second, because it was my first ever bar/club fight. not sure if that's a good thing. but well, it certainly was memorable. moreover, it was the first time i've ever seen racism in action. it really was a bit of a shock. trumps wasnt doing anything wrong and the guy hit him because of his ethnicity. it was definitely messed up.

NICKY D IS THE NEW SHAKESPEARE. ALSO, ADVENTURES IN AMERICAN CANDY.

so we're sitting upstairs and i'd been wanting to go through the candy i brought back from america for all of them for a while. well hugh wasn't here and then once he finally got back, getting everyone together was a nightmare. so basically anna, amy and nicky d come up one night and all of us are up in our apartment except dharini and i figure, why not.

so basically i show them all the candy and whatnot and they all really liked junior mints (what's not to like) and it was really funny, cause they got REALLY squished in my bag so they were really more like one giant blob of junior mints but i'm pretty sure that box was licked clean by the time we threw it away. hahaha

and i brought back salt water taffy for them which they were all really excited to try (i wasn't expecting it) apparently it was mentioned on friends? cause i was like "ok and this is salt water taffy" all of them, including nicky d were like

OMG THEY EAT THAT ON FRIENDS!!!

and they were all really stoked to try it. most of them didn't like it though. hugh, the great perserverer for candy, didn't like several of the candys i brought back all that much (ie. whoppers, hersheys [which they dubbed "vomit chocolate--because it tastes like vomit!"] and salt water taffy) but still continued to eat them until he eventually decided he liked them. not really all that sure what that says about him but it's pretty entertaining.

that time chrissy fell asleep on stalker cam

so annaliese will occasionally turn on stalker cam and chrissy/hugh had an essay for their english class on great expectations. well hugh didn't read all the book but turned in his paper on time. chrissy on the other hand, was a model student and read the entire book..except she turned in the essay a few days late. but whatever. she got the full literary value from it. but anyway she had gone down to the common room to read

and then annaliese turns on stalker cam and this is what we see...



so we laugh and decide we have to take a picture. and then annaliese goes down to wake her up. and i take this picture.



creepy, huh. hahaha well it was pretty funny for us.

DUNERA BOYS--PREPARE FOR SOME EDUCATION!

so for my australian history class i had to do an essay about a museum exhibit and hugh had to go to the national library and one of the exhibits was there so i was like WELL THAT'S CONVENIENT AND THAT WAY I DON'T HAVE TO GO ALONE!

so basically we go and its a really small exhibit but it actually ended up being really interesting. so the dunera boys are a group of german, australian, italian and basically overall european men/boys from 16-60 who were living in england during the early stages of nazi occupation of europe and were deported on the ship "Dunera" by britain to australia so that they couldn't pose any threat to the war effort. even though a lot of them wanted to fight and whatnot. so anyway they were then interned in australia cause australia didn't really know what else to do with them if they didn't follow britain's advice so they were interned. but anyway it wasn't too horrible an experience and a lot of them ended up staying in australia.

it was a pretty cool exhibit. this was my favorite thing in it...



it's a hanger that was made in the camp and on it is written:
made in internment in Haye in 1940/41 out of materials just at hand, there was a war on, you know.

i thought that was cute. making the best of a kaka situation. well ok not kaka by comparison to the stories of a lot of other people in world war ii but i mean it's really not ideal. anyway they were released in late 41 or 42 or something so fortunately they weren't actually interned all that long. anyway it was a cool exhibit

CUSTARD APPLES ARE DELICIOUS

despite having a rather disgusting sounding name (they definitely do not taste or look like apples), they're probably like the most delicious fruit i've ever had. i had them when i went to cairns with my parents and they were definitely my favorite. they look kind of stupid but they're really good. and then i found them being sold in the grocery store so i was pretty stoked so i bought it. here's a picture.



the end. (what a boring story.)

AND NOW, A STORY ABOUT THE DIRTIEST BOY I KNOW

so pigpen here (yes that was a peanuts reference) decides that he wants to do his laundry.

wait. back track.

so my bed here is comfortable. welll relatively so. it's not half as comfortable as my bed back home but you know, i made due with what i had---which is a doubled over queen size foam mattress. so basically it's not too bad. i mean it's not too great either but it's not too bad. and in comparison to those mattresses without any padding it's pretty nice.

well i guess hugh's never put a mattress pad on his bed and is madly in love with my bed. he basically takes any opportunity possible to sleep in it. sometimes i'm pretty sure he just comes up here to take a nap in my bed while i go and do other things.

so basically on wednesday night at about 11pm he tells us

hugh: i really need to do laundry. i've been wearing these same underwear the last three days
wendy: umm. ew.
annaliese: did you turn them inside out?
hugh: no
wendy: UM AS IF THAT WOULD HELP
annaliese: that's disgusting
wendy: because it would have been LESS disgusting if he'd turned them inside out?!

so anyway i'm like well i need to wash my sheet and my pillow case so if you're gonna do laundry can i just shove them in with your stuff? so yeah were gonna do that but then all we've got is 4 dollars in coins and we need at least 9 to do two loads of washing (3 dollars each) and one load of drying (3 dollars). so basically we cant scrounge it at that time of night so we decide we'll just do it tomorrow.

so "tomorrow" rolls around and he comes over and hes like

so wendy can i take a nap in your bed?
did you do your laundry and change your underwear?
yeah
are you lying to me?
no
why didn't you tell me you were gonna do it. now i cant wash my sheets
sorry i did it this morning
oh ok well then if you did your laundry go ahead i don't care as long as you're not lying to me
i'm not
ok then go ahead i don't care

WELL. BIG SHOCKER. HE LIED. cause like that night at 10pm hes like

hey wendy did you still want me to put your sheets in with my laundry?
what?
i'm doing laundry do you want me to put your sheets in?
DUDE
what
DUDE YOU TOTALLY LIED TO ME.
yeah.
well then yeah will you put my sheets in with your stuff?

so basically he does and were all set to go after i spend 20 minutes finding two dollars we needed (i eventually scrounged from beck) and i'm like

AWESOME. wheres your detergent?
i don't have any
WHAT?
i don't have any. in the beginning i thought it was communal cause people would leave theirs down here and i just thought it was for all of us to use. and now i just still use theirs cause they leave it down here
DUDE NOT COOL. DO NOT USE OTHER PEOPLES DETERGENT. I'LL BRING MINE DOWN. JESUS.

so basically then that goes smoothly and we throw everything in the dryer and life appears like it's going to be good. my sheets are gonna be dry. everything's gonna be fine

so we go back down there to collect our laundry and i open the dryer door and you know where the vent that removes lint is? well PILED ON TOP OF THAT IS KLEENEXES AND CANDY WRAPPERS.

DUDE! THAT'S DISGUSTING
what?! it's just candy wrappers and kleenexes hahahahha
DUDE CLEAN THAT UP
ok geeze it's not that bad and it's not like you cleaned the lint thing
YES. YES I DID. I MADE SURE IT WAS CLEAN BEFORE WE PUT EVERYTHING IN
oh. oh well
(i pull out my sheets and he pulls out all his stuff)
DUDE THERE'S MORE CANDY WRAPPERS IN THERE. you're so gross.

anyway it makes for a pretty funny story but EXCUSE ME FOR WANTING MY CLEAN STUFF CLEAN. all i'm saying is, good thing i did my sheets that night before sleeping in them.. cause i'm definitely not willing to sleep in 4 day unwashed underwear boy stench, thank you very much.

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