Thursday, January 27, 2011

Important Things with Wendy Muraoka

It's like Important Things with Demetri Martin except with me instead. Get it? ah well, it wasnt that good of a joke anyway.

So this is going to be a pretty text heavy post cause there hasn’t really been anything worthwhile to take pictures of. But I will have a couple so uh… my bad? So I figure now is as good a time as any to tell you some of the things I’ve learned while in Australia. So we’ll do this by section. I think you’ll be able to keep up.

VOCABULARY (some with actual snippets of conversation!)

Bogan: (pronounced bo-gin [as in begin not as in gin the drink) a hick.
Ex. Theres lots of hot guys that wendy would like up north but they’re all bogans.
Ex2. Everyone: “Why are you drinking XXXX? That’s a bogan beer.”
Wendy “I wanted to try an australian beer and asked one of the guys to order one for me that wouldn’t make me look like a jerk and he didn’t know so he asked the bartender and they gave me this”

Capsicum: bell peppers
Ex. I hate capsicum.

Dacking: to pants someone

Dag: literally: “what hangs out of a sheep’s bum,” says Roland.
Generally used as the equivalent of a dork.
Wendy: “my contacts are going nuts” (as per freaking usual)
Hugh: “I need glasses”
Wendy “Why don’t you have them?”
Hugh: “Well its not cause I think I’ll look like a dag or anything”

Doona: (pronounced doo-nahh) comforter, heavy blanket.
Ex. Wendy: “I hope my comforter is warm enough for winter.”
Beck: “comforter?”
Dharini: “she means doona” and then they all made fun of my americanness.

Jumper: sweatshirt

Woop woop: (pronounced wh-up (as in yup) middle of nowhere or at least further than you currently feel like walking.

*Rangers (this is totally my favorite. it's horrible but hilarious. but redheads do embrace it. but anyway brace yourself. This is best described by a conversation I had with brittani…)
ex. Wendy: “dude they call gingers rangers here. But it's ranger as in orangutan not as in park ranger”
Brittani: “HAHAHAHAHAH I SO APPROVE OF AUSTRALIA”

and they say "heaps" a lot. you could say that they say "heaps" heaps. haha i mean they even say it on commercials like I heard on a car commercial the announcer say that the car had "heaps of room"

so thats all for now for vocabulary. and now...

FUNNY (as in weird) THINGS

They (or at least a majority of the people here) call schnapps schnapps. That did not explain it at all. By schnapps I mean they pronounce it like “schnaaaps” like apps rather than opps. It's kinda funny. And guys drink schnAApps and don’t get made fun of like that time that paul drank peppermint schnAApps and puked and then told us all about it later and we all made fun of him for drinking a girly drink in the first place. gg paul <3

EDIT: apparently they do get made fun of says hugh (but he was drinking it anyway and arguing with me about the pronunciation of schnaaaapps but whatever), but apparently everyone I'm friends with just doesn't? or they just don't make fun of them in front of me.

How are you going?: this is said instead of “how’s it going?” well not instead of. Cause they don’t say how’s it going. But I mean they say it instead of as in they wouldn’t ever say how’s it going but they say this and it means the same thing. anyway I mean when you think about it, it doesn’t sound like it’d be particularly weird but when you hear it after being used to hearing how’s it going, it sounds totally weird. the first couple times people said it to me i was so confused. and then it clicked and i'd be like OHHHHHH im good. And they think its weird that I say how’s it going. so I guess we’re even.

anyway so we have this thing called stalker cam which is like surveillance cameras hooked up to several channels on the tv. Theres like 3 channels of the elevators (my floor, the floor below and the floor above) so you can creep on whoever’s going into or out of them, there’s the common room so you can creep on whoever’s sitting there and there’s also one that switches between the computer lounge and the laundry room and something else I don’t remember because I don’t ever watch it cause its boring. But anyway a lot of people (including my friends) do watch it because they’re creepers. I don’t know.

So anyway I went to the laundry room to do my laundry and first off they have the same kaka washers and dryers that we have in san diego which I thought was kinda funny. I guess it's nice to know that students everywhere have the same iffy laundry experience ive had the past 2 years. But here its 3 dollars to do a load in the washer and 3 for the dryer so that was surprisingly expensive but whatever.

And so began my laundry adventure.

So as anyone who is reading this will probably know, I am an idiot. So I went in and I put detergent and beck’s fabric softener in one of the washers and that worked fine and I started it going. Well I put my other load of laundry in another washer and put in the soap but then I remembered that Irene had a bunch of her stuff ruined by the washers at school that still had bleach in the bleach part so I was like NO THIS STUFF IS COLORFUL IM NOT LETTING IT GET RUINED so I checked and of course there were remnants of dry bleach (despite it saying that it was LIQUID BLEACH ONLY) in the bleach compartment so then I was like shoot. I already put my detergent in. oh well someone will have a free bit of detergent and I moved washers. So then the next one I went to I put in the detergent and the softener and I was like yes this washer is perfect!! And then I opened it to put my stuff in and THERE WERE CLOTHES IN IT so it was like AAH. So then I had to open like 4 washers till I could find one that both didn’t have clothes in it and didn’t have bleach remnants in it. So anyway basically the whole time I was hoping nobody was watching me on stalker cam cause they’d think I’m a moron. Which I am but I really was hoping it would take them a bit longer to realize.

And they don’t have dryer sheets. Not really a huge deal, just kinda weird. When I asked beck for some she looked at me like I was crazy.

So anyway that was my laundry escapade. Now onto something else.

SO PEPPER SPRAY. Anyway pepper spray is illegal here. Which I didn’t know. So I brought mine with me. Uh..oops. but its not my fault! They didn’t have me declare it or anything at customs! I mean I waited in line for an hour at customs for my two bags of m&ms I might as well have declared my stupid pepper spray. But anyway so all the australians thought it was totally crazy that I had it and forced me to show it to them which was really funny. I mean they COULD NOT wait to see it. It was like a kid in a candy store or something. It was kind of cute actually. hahaha. I'm afraid it was a bit anti climactic for them though. I think they expected something way cooler than just a stupid little canister. But whatever. Haha.

Anyway.

CONFUSING THINGS (seriously. Half the time I’m lost)

So when I went shopping with annaliese the first time I went grocery shopping we ran into issues with jam, jelly and jello. So at home jam and jelly are effectively the same things. I know someone will probably say (“well wendy jam and jelly have different consistencies” or “jam has seeds and jelly doesn’t” but quite frankly we all know they’re the same thing and nobody cares whether you call one the other or whatever) and then jello is obviously jello. WELL HERE they call jam, jam, jelly is jello and jello is nothing. So we ran into some issues when I wanted jelly and annaliese wanted jello but she was calling it jelly. Hahaha what a conundrum.

So the most confusing thing that I‘ve encountered is what dim sim and yum cha are. I’m still not 100% sure what they are. And as dharini and beck are currently studying and I feel bad disturbing them I asked hugh who was about to leave what they were. He said something that effectively translates in American to yum cha is dim sum and dim sim is like dumplings or something. He wasn’t really sure what dim sim was as he said “I don’t really like Chinese food” but he said basically dumplings so that’s what I’m going to go with. Hopefully, since I’m not really keen on dim sum it’ll never be a problem cause I’m confused.

FUNNY (as in haha) THINGS

so one day i was sitting in dharini and beck's room and they were making steak for dinner. pretty legit for college students, i know. they actually are quite good cooks. so they were trying to cook steak and beck had the pan on a high heat and then slapped on the marinated steak which caught on fire. and she calls over dharini to be like DUDE CHECK IT OUT IM A REAL CHEF! and dharini's like "BECK TAKE IT OFF THE HEAT IT SHOULDNT BE ON FIRE!" so that was pretty funny. but the point of that was, it started smoking really bad. and like here you have to keep your doors closed when you cook cause if the smoke gets into the hallway AT ALL then the smoke alarms go off and the fire "brigade" comes and "bad things happen" says McBain (aka andrew mcbain but everyone just calls him mcbain. hes the ra for beck and dharinis floor and hes pretty awesome.) so anyway the fire alarm goes off in beck and dharinis room and being trained by my mothers cooking, i jump up and grab a notebook that was nearby and start fanning the smoke alarm till it stops. and they're just sitting there looking at me like i'm crazy. hahaha

TOTALLY AWESOME THINGS

oh so anyway here's something with pictures. so there's this jewish holiday called purim which was described by dan (a 117er) as "jewish halloween". there's a pretty intense story behind it which he told me but at this moment i don't remember it but he condensed it to effectively "there was a good guy and a bad guy and we're commanded to drink until we cant tell the difference between them". and you dress up in costume. so i mean you really don't get a better holiday than that. i mean they had me at dress up in costume so whatever. anyway here's a couple pictures.



this is me beck (princess leia--i totally did her hair and it totally came out awesome) and jinxy (pikaJEW, complete with yarmulke--he said it not me.)



i totally should have taken more pictures at the purim party, i know. but oh well. too late now.

so now, jumping to yesterday...when we were watching the oscars last night (not sure why but anyway we were) i was saying that i'd heard sam worthington looked hot so i was looking out for him. well then beck is like "you guys (as in americans) really like him huh" and i was like yeah hes kind of like rugged and manly. and beck and dharini were just like "dude hes like a normal dude. i bet i know 10 guys exactly like him" which made me think something along the lines of "I LOVE AUSTRALIA" hahahaha. and then they were complaining about chris pine and i was like what? and they were like he's kinda girly and i was like what? everyone in america had been worrying before star trek came out that he was too like manly and imperfect to be the next leading man cause he didn't have perfect skin and like didn't look fantastically glamorous or anything and they were just like what the heck hes not at all! so that made me very glad i was in australia. especially when they were all saying "the age of the metro is over". ah i love australia.

speaking of australia, here's some stereotypes the australians have about their country and new zealand that i thought were pretty funny:

"canberra is literally the hole of australia" says Dharini. apparently its a valley. i wonder if they'd describe san jose the same way?

"perth doesn't exist" says Beck. i guess cause its in the middle of "woop woop"?

"tasmania is all inbred" everyone just says that. seriously. i guess tasmanias kinda like alabama or something. minus some of the racism i think. although some said it was kinda bad there. but whatever

"new zealand loves sheep" everyone also says that. i guess new zealanders love for sheep is like tasmanias love for their relatives? hahahaha i dunno but i thought it was funny.

so anyway i'm gonna take a picture of the dorms and post some of my other canberra pictures tomorrow cause i'm tired now cause i went to class today so i've been up since 9 and i'm deteriorating into a worse and worse writer by the minute (and yes i know youre saying to yourself "wait...she could get worse?!" but well the answer is yes and so im going to end this now
GOOD NIGHT. oh and HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TRACEY! I have now officially known you roughly 74.7619048% of your life. roughly. :)

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