Friday, January 28, 2011

that time i procrastinated...again

so im procrastinating again (what else is new) and figured i might as well do something of some worth. so anyway, here's to perhaps doing (or as the case may actually be, not doing) something of some worth.

so anyway what else has happened since the last time i updated? i'm listening to the beach boys. seems ironic since for the first time in my life its june, it's freezing (literally) and i'm NOT IN CALIFORNIA. but whatever. it's these ironies that define my life (like that time i got ecoli from burger king in vienna [for those of you that don't know the story, we were in austria, everything closes early, it was 10pm and me and my dad were hungry "there's a burger king at the train station!" "sweet get me a whopper!" two hours later i'm running a fever, unable to sleep have ridiculously bad stomach cramps and am on the train to bologna, italy, THE FOOD CAPITAL OF ITALY, hating myself. and now i refuse to eat burger king/hungry jacks ever again (couldn't even eat burgers for a long time but the promises of in and out burger were too good and eventually i stopped feeling nauseous every time i'd eat them hahaha)] and that other time i did something stupid and irony also came back to haunt me [so basically that's like daily]).

and i'm not yet done with school.

what a jip, even leigh's out (for all you australian kids reading this, that's my high school). but oh well. i don't know if it's better or worse for me to have my finals this spaced out. probably worse. i could be spending all my time for the like 7 days between my first two finals studying but instead i'm sitting around, messing with voice changers (more of that later) and apparently blogging (which is definitely new for me). oh well. it's worth it (australia, that is).

so let's see, where to begin. i'm just gonna talk about stuff as it comes to my mind so it's probably not gonna be chronological but i'll do my best.

ok alright i've got it. a good starting place.

this is easily one of the best fail videos i've ever seen. trust me, it's worth the hassle of clicking and then waiting for youtube to buffer and all that.

anyway since its been finals week there hasn't really been a lot going on. but after my final the other day i decided it was time to clean the apartment and vacuum and rearrange my room (i was running on three hours of sleep, and may have been delirious. apparently that's the only way to get me to clean, cause i also cleaned the toilets. WHATEVER). so basically you go down to the front desk and ask them for a vacuum and they provide you with one in exchange for them holding onto your id incase you steal the vacuum and never come back, then they own your soul.

and for good reason, they literally have the cutest/most awesome vacuum i've ever seen. his name is henry.






yep, i'm pretty sure if they didn't have my ID, and wouldn't be able to hunt me down if i stole him, i'd totally steal henry. tell me that's not the cutest vacuum you've ever seen. he almost makes vacuuming FUN! well maybe not quite. but at least then you have a little buddy to do it with. and if you do end up talking to him (like words of encouragement, and telling him to not run into walls and stuff, which i'm not saying i did, since technically i'm sane and whatnot) then you don't feel quite as crazy as when you talk to other inanimate objects which don't have faces (like regular vacuums and your printer and your computer, etc. is that just me? maybe i am crazy.)

anyway so i did that and it was cooool. er as cool as cleaning gets, i guess.

AND THERE WERE MARASCHINO CHERRIES EVERYWHERE. well it was a little while ago, so when i was cleaning them they were gone but whatever. frickin hugh. chrissy bought this rocky road stuff from this really good chocolate shop called haighs in melbourne and its like marshmallows and maraschino cherries and stuff covered in milk chocolate and its crazy delicious. well right when she brought it home it was the weekend that we (beck, dharini, annaliese and me) had all GORGED ourselves on TONS of food, we literally had feasts, so all of us were like NO MORE FOOD. so it sort of sat in our fridge untouched for a longer amount of time than usually expected. so basically hugh got sort of free reign of it.

and let me be the first to tell you,

THAT BOY IS THE MESSIEST EATER I HAVE EVER SEEN.

i mean my mom always complains cause i spill on myself all the time. HE IS AT LEAST 10X WORSE. and i say that with love, of course. but oh wow.

haha it was funny too cause last night dharini, hugh and i went out for thai food and she got some stir fried stuff that was really good, he got pad thai and i got panang curry (which is AMAZING but really really spicy [for me and hugh (we went and got it like a day and a half before and both of us got it and we were both red in the face and our noses were running and my eyes were watering but we were both still going "ITS SO GOOD" and it was pretty sad/funny), dharini says "ITS SWEET!! YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC" THANKS DHARINI <3]) so it has a lot of chicken in it and i'm like ok why am i going to eat the 8 bits of vegetables in this when i've got ALL THIS DELICIOUS CHICKEN!? if i eat the vegetables, then i'll never be able to finish the chicken so i might as well just leave them! so i do. and so basically dharini was laughing at me for that. so then when the waitress comes to pick up our dishes, she picks up hugh's and there's like this little clean space where the plate was, literally SURROUNDED by bits of pad thai. and all of us start cracking up cause he's the messiest eater ever. and then dharini's like "you guys are like little kids. you don't eat all your vegetables and he spills EVERYWHERE" and it was like HAHAHAHAHA that's sad. we totally are. hahahah

so back to the rocky road. so hugh's the messiest eater ever and none of us are completely sure how, but he, without apparently realizing it, dropped maraschino cherries everywhere (because he'd pick them out of the bits of rocky road he'd eat and shove them back in the bag containing the rocky road (how charming............[that's me, pausing for sarcastic emphasis. <3]) and i know hes going to say for whoever wanted to eat them, but who's gonna want to eat them when the chocolate and marshmallow and etc ordinarily surrounding it is EATEN. whatta dork

so anyway he leaves all the maraschino cherries and somehow they end up getting ALL OVER OUR KITCHEN. but none of us realize until WE STEP IN THEM. and then its a little like when you step in gum. your shoe sticks to the floor (and in chrissy's case, your foot lifts out of it) or in my case, you look down, mutter some expletives about hugh and then grab a napkin and some water and wipe down the sole of your shoe and the floor.

unfortunately, the first couple of incidents, we didn't know the repercussions of maraschino cherries being ground into your floor. turns out you cant just wipe it up with a dry napkin, or you just get bits of paper stuck to the blob that you were trying to remove from the floor and then dust and debris also gets stuck to it (as with one blob none of us wanted to clean and thus chilled on our floor for about a week till we fully were sure what it was and then forced hugh to clean).

the squashed bits of cherries were everywhere, too. not only in our kitchen, but somehow a blob made it into one of the bathrooms (none of us could REALLY figure out how), and into the stairwell (again, none of us could REALLY figure out how) but all of us blamed hugh and his strange eating habits. hahaha

so anyway annaliese loves red cordial. im not 100% sure how to describe cordial (which they pronounce cor-dee-ahl not corjul) but the best correlation i can think of is that it's similar (and i mean that loosely) to koolaid. it comes in like jug things and it's concentrated and it's supposed to taste like raspberry but i'm not really sure if it does cause i haven't really tried it and you're supposed to cut it with like half water. well annaliese is notorious for drinking it.

when we first got here, she was drinking like 2 jugs a week (hahaha she sounds like an addict....which she is... hahaha) and she cuts it with WAYYY less water than anyone else so it's way more concentrated. it's pretty funny. so anyway annaliese loves her red cordial.

so that's why we were so shocked when she decided to give it up when she decided to "go healthy" with beck after we had that feast weekend. it was pretty scary seeing her give up the love of her life, but the other day, her and her love reunited in a big way.




yes that is a very large measuring cup, yes it was originally full of red cordial, and yes she didn't pour it in a glass because "there isn't a glass big enough"
hahahahhaha. yep. gotta love her and her cordial.

so its been pretty cold here. with the lows being like 27/28/29 degs F (-3 or -2 for you METRIC kids) and the highs being not fantastically higher than that (like high 40s. i'm too lazy to convert to metrics on that. sorry) and for some reason the other day there was this plastic bag literally FULL of bacon left in the stairwell between first and second floors.

the first time i saw it i was like huh, that's pretty weird, someone must be bringing their groceries up and just forgot that and they'll come back and get it later, cause that's a lot of bacon, that could make a whole lot of deliciousness.

well like 2 days later it was still there. slowly AND I MEAN SLOWLY thawing (hugh made jokes about it re-freezing there [the hallways get really cold cause they have open windows to the outside cold-ness]) and there was like blood sort of pooling outside of the bag. it was pretty damn nasty. and im pretty sure it didn't smell bad only because it was taking SO long to thaw because its SO COLD IN THAT STAIRWELL. so all of us i guess just figured eventually unilodge would notice it and they'd remove it. WELLL yeah they weren't.

so finally, chrissy, being the good samaritan that she is, (seriously. oh wait, she did steal quite a few things that were inconsequential and weren't doing anyone any good [namely a tiki torch from the beginning of the year "FLOOR SURVIVOR" competition that was left in the elevator, cute cut out stars with sticky crap on the back from this one ground floor corridor that she stuck on our door, an exit sign (which luckily was the only one in the building without the threat of like prosecution for removing it) and a giant king chess piece from kinloch's giant chessboard (that she returned like the next day and was saying "i should put a note on it that says "KINLOCH SUCKS!!" to which i said something really mature like "DUDE! DO IT!!!"]) so maybe shes not THAT good of a good samaritan, but shes still pretty good)

so anyway she goes and tells mcbain that there's bacon in the hallway and he goes "sweet, doug's on duty. i'll make him clean it" and when she regales us all with this tale we all start laughing pretty hard

(cause doug's arguably one of the most easily hateable people ever--hes racist [he had the hots for chrissy, which we cant fault him for, but his reasons were all bad--namely, he liked her cause shes pretty and blonde and he thought hopefully shed be a white supremacist too...FAIL. and apparently he described her as a "nice piece of crumpet" which we all thought was EXTREMELY creepy and which garnered her the nickname that we all still call her of "crumpet/crumpy"] and he looks like a grown man. and when i say that, i dont mean paul grown man or when trent grows out his facial hair and likes to think he looks like a grown man. i mean HE LOOKS LIKE HES 30. and not a good 30 either. dharini and beck have a theory that hes actually a 35 year old man who killed the real doug and came to unilodge in his place to hit on/take advantage of young drunk college girls "except nobody's stupid or drunk enough to let him". hahaha. especially cause he always waits outside of clubs and waits till a unilodge girl gets really drunk and then offers to walk them home-which would sound really nice if he wasnt extremely creepy. honestly, i don't think anyone would care about how damn old he looks if he was a nice, non racist dude. but since he is, it makes it all the easier to make fun of him. especially when he does dumb stuff. [hahaha like that time that hugh was studying in the common room and he was in there talking to some girl and "accidentally" spilt like soda or something on her shirt and hes like OH I'M SORRY LET ME GET THAT STAIN OUT FOR YOU and shes like uhh it's ok and hes like NO I CAN DO IT JUST GIVE ME THE SHIRT. and the girls like "but that would require me taking it off" and hugh mutters to himself "that's what he wants" and doug slaps him on the back AHAHAHAHA CLASSIC. once again though, id have felt bad for him for being so socially awkward if he wasn't such a racist sexist sleazy dude])

wow that's gonna be a really long paragraph when i post this but i figured there was no really good way of breaking up something that was in parentheses. maybe i should have just taken it out of the parentheses? i dunno. WHATEVER

anyway so mcbain goes and tells doug who complains incessantly about having to clean it up until mcbain basically says shut up and do it. so he decides ALRIGHT I'LL USE SOMETHING TO CLEAN IT UP? WHAT SHALL I USE, OH NICKY D'S EXIT SIGN THAT'LL WORK GREAT

ummmmmm except he didn't ask. nicky d's metal exit sign is giant and its a street sign that says exit. not really all too sure where he got it from. and i'm even less sure why doug would choose to use it, since it's giant and would be incredibly annoying to have to move and lift and stuff. so anyway for some reason he takes nicky d's sign (without asking, so i've heard) to pick up the bloody bag of bacon (lol at the alliteration). and so when nicky d finds out hes like what the heck!? and i guess doug said he'd wash it off. hahaha how gross though. poor nicky d.

anyway heres our sleazy stairwell.




yep. here in unilodge, when peeps get killed, we don't even clean up the bloodstains. i am so lame. i'm using the excuse that its almost 4am. YEP THAT'S RIGHT I'M EFFECTIVELY PLEADING THE FIFTH. actually i'm not at all, i just thought i'd sound really cool saying that. what an idiot.

so anyway last night was the germany australia match of the world cup. everyone's really excited about the world cup here. soccer's apparently a lot bigger of a deal here than back home. it's really cute too cause everyone's willing to get up at obscure hours of the night to watch it (namely 430am last night/this morning). annaliese was home and she even went to darling harbor at 430 am which was FULL of people wanting to watch the socceroos (how cute is that) despite the cold.

so anyway at 430am (no i never went to sleep) dharini, chrissy and me get up and head over to kinloch where they've set up a projector and are projecting the game on a huge wall and they've got couches and stuff set up.



here's beck, awake but not willing to be cold on the walk to come with us. that's her and dharini's mattresses in the living room. they do that a lot. it's pretty comfortable cause then you can sit in their living room on mattresses rather than the floor.



dharini, me and chrissy. chrissy and i hadn't gone to sleep yet so we were more awake. dharini, who complained about me taking the picture, was sane and had gone to bed at a reasonable hour and just woke up extremely early, so she looks a little tired



the socceroos colors are green and gold (nobodys been able to give me a valid explanation as to why, since the australian flag is red white and blue) so chrissy was very patriotic so i definitely had to take a picture. plus, how cute is her beanie. im infinitely jealous--i wish i had it and i wish i looked good in beanies AT ALL.

and then getting into kinloch was a problem we didnt remember. you have to have a key to get into the building, and then a key to get into the common area. so were standing outside in the LITERALLY freezing cold telling dharini to text everyone we know who could possibly be inside to let us in (meaning 117) and then we see a guy sitting in the reception area and were like HIII!!! LET US IN !!! and he was really nice and did. but then we couldnt get into the common area so we were waiting. but at least we came in from the cold. and then a guy came out of the elevator and through the door and let us in and we were like YAY!! just as brett was coming to let us in.

anyway once we were inside here's the room we were in.





and theres basically the screen. it doesnt look that big but it was at least like 25 feet tall. probably more.

it was pretty fun watching the game there. even though australia suffered a pretty demoralizing loss (4-0). everyone always expected them to lose cause germanys a really good team, but all of us were hoping australia would score at least once. it was pretty sad. but it was still fun i guess. there were at least 60 people there. probably more. after germany scored the third goal, though, people started to head out. it was too painful.

meanwhile, while we were watching the beginning of the game, where they play both teams national anthems, dharini and i were calling dibs on the different soccer players. it was pretty funny. basically you just call out "OH MY TEAM!" and basically "your team" means calling dibs. it was pretty funny. dharini got probably the best looking german and i got the best looking australian. it was pretty funny.

haha before that, the opening game for the world cup, south africa vs mexico everyone went to 117 to watch. it was pretty fun. there were at least like 30 people crammed into their living room playing the drinking game they all set up. they had some fairly complicated rules too. it was funny. i didnt play cause it was late already and i had stuff to do but they were pretty complicated and it was fun.

one of the rules of the drinking game was that you have to drink during your team's national anthem. so you had to choose your team accordingly. mexico's anthem, they were saying, could only be a good 30 seconds long cause its only in spanish, whereas south africas was in 4 different languages. there were, thus, fewer south africa supporters in the room hahaha.

anyway back to kinloch and the 430 am soccer game! so after we lost we went to walk home. it was about 630am and it was FREEZING. literally. there was ice on peoples windshields and it was so thick you couldnt write obnoxious stuff in it. chrissy tried to draw a smiley face in this guy's and it totally didnt work at all. i tried to see how much it took to scrape off the ice. not THAT much but not NOT that much.



yeah it was pretty cold. all of us pretty much avoid going outside of unilodge as much as possible. it just never seems worth it to brave the cold. haha

so anyway today hugh and i were "studying" meaning he was playing bloons which i introduced to him because for some reason i thought of irene playing it and hes really addicted and is on the third iteration of it, not more bloons, but EVEN MORE BLOONS. and i was doing everything in my power not to listen to my american 60s lecture (tetris, wiki, you name it. its not that the lectures are really boring, its that i just think its a boring topic. im sure if i found the subject matter interesting then my professor would be highly entertaining. except when she pronounces chicano "schicAYno" rather than "cheec-kah-no". it drives me CRAZY. maybe its cause ive taken multiple classes where they've discussed IN DEPTH the chicano movement, maybe its because i live with a bunch of mexicans back in san diego, maybe its even just because mexican food is a staple of california, but oh my god it drove me UP THE FRICKIN WALL. i literally found myself cringing every time she said it.)

which is funny cause they cant pronounce chipotle a lot of the time too because theyve never come in contact with the word before. we go to this burrito place called zambrero and their stuff, though not necessarily hugely authentic, is still pretty good. and they have a chipotle sauce so im like sick, ill put that on there and itll probably be pretty good. and it really was. so then everyone else decided they wanted it

but their pronounciations got..different

for example, one night beck wanted zambrero but didnt want to go and get it so she kept repeating/whining/moaning CHIP-OO-TLEE!!! CHIP-OO-TLEEEE
hahah

and then i think it was chrissy that was pronouncing it chip-ah-tol. and she also called it something else that definitely wasnt the right word. but both of those pronounciations were cute and not cringeworthy at all. so im not sure why chicano bothered me so much. what a weirdo.

and then hugh, because hes got a final tomorrow...er today, considering it is now 448 am, gets up, says hes going to record himself saying his notes and then listen to his recording and then come back. so im like hahaha thats funny. but alright happy studying. and i dont remember what else happened but then when he came back and i was still procrastinating and had not finished my lecture he showed me this program that changed your voice theres a chipmunk setting, a mouse setting and a darth vader setting among others. unfortunately, all the others besides the chipmunk and the mouse setting, were kind of lame. even the darth setting isnt that fantastic which was kind of a bummer.

so anyway heres a few clips of us messing around with it.

oh i should probably explain first, hugh, although completely heterosexual, often gets really really really girly songs stuck in his head. namely, alejandro by lady gaga (who everyone here pretty much seems to hate) and sweet dreams by beyonce (which nobody hates but its pretty funny when he sings it). when we used to play nerts hed sing them. but he sings them really weird. so its really funny.

for a while i thought it was a tactic to make us all terrible at nerts cause wed be laughing so hed win. but then later i realized he just does it. a lot. that, and "your mother" quips that are usually quite stupid, though still funny sometimes. its especially funny cause sometimes he does it pretty much after everything you say and then he says something like "god im annoying even myself".

hahaha and annaliese in some ways is his female counterpart cause youll hear her come into the room and start talking to herself and then shell like verbally start berating herself "GOD ANNALIESE THAT WAS SO STUPID YOURE SUCH A NOB WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" hahahah its pretty funny. especially cause i dont know of a single time when shes verbally accosted herself that its really been merited.

anyway, heres a couple recordings of hugh, saying his characteristic phrases, in the way he always says them, but with chipmunk/mouse helium voices. hahaha

Alejandro by user3129162

Sweet Dreams by user3129162

and chrissy joined in the fun too...

Chrissy baby got back by user3129162

anyway i should study for finals. meaning i should go to bed and wake up tomorrow at a reasonable hour (meaning not 230 pm like today because i went to bed at 730 last night because of the soccer) ill try and get up at 1230 i think. itll probably end up being 130 with me resetting my alarm and effectively hitting snooze. but whatever. ill survive.

and brittani comes soon. that should be interesting. hahaha she needed my number here and i started to give her the right one, with the 01161 thing but then i finished off the rest of it with trents home phone number HAHAHAHAH my bad. and she was like "Wait which one was it?" and im like "what? its the original one you had. whats that new one...OH OOPS THATS TRENTS NUMBER HAHAHAH" to which she called me (arguably deservedly) an idiot.

hahaha and then hugh was saying hed maybe drive us around when were in sydney if his dad lets him have the car. i was like dude thats awesome. and then our conversation took a turn for the...worse?
cause i was like "sweet! thats exciting! im excited to see you drive"
and he goes "but you cant distract me or i might kill us "
"WHAT?"
"yeah i get distracted really easily and ive almost killed a few of my friends...well no ok ive almost killed only one of them. yeah he definitely would have been dead if the other driver wasnt attentive."
"DUDE."
"yeah but im better than my sisters. my mom says im the best one of the three of us"
"DUDE HOW BAD ARE YOUR SISTERS?!?!"
"well i havent caused any damage to my car and they have"
"welllll thats comforting....wait how long have you had your license?"
"since october"
"and youve been in how many car crashes?"
"NONE OF THEM WERE CRASHES. I JUST HIT THINGS."
"FINE HOW MANY ACCIDENTS HAVE YOU HAD?"
hes backed into a couple of cars. one was blocking the driveway and i guess he didnt notice it
"MAKE SURE YOU DONT PARK IN FRONT OF PEOPLES DRIVEWAYS NO MATTER WHAT"
"i always make sure not to. and i definitely wont now, since you HIT people"

and here i expected him to be a good driver just cause trent and paul are. and cause im awesome, of course. hahahah. i wonder how much his insurance is? or if its cheaper here or worse or what? what a stupid boring thing to wonder. ITS 613 AM IM GOING TO BED GOODNIGHT.

No comments:

Post a Comment