Tuesday, February 1, 2011

iceskating and soccer finals

so let's see. it's been a while. but between photos and the scribbled notes i put on here to remind me what i would eventually want to write about, i think this post should remember the most important things.

Chapter 1: Interhall Ball and Embarrassing Bruises

aside from the beck story to come i dont remember there being that much worthwhile to talk about with interhall ball. it was a fun night but not a whole lot really of note happened. the theme was las vegas which presented some issues on its own. men got to dress up like bond and high rollers and look cool but for us girls there weren't a whole lot of options unless you wanted to be a prosty/stripper/showgirl. so i mean most of us sort of just dressed nice.

anyway here's some pictures

walking there. beck and shaz are twins

dharini, me and most of 117 (brett, dharini, me, nicky d, dan and ben)

dharini, ben (i absolutely love this picture of ben) me and hugh

amy, dharini, nicky d and me

dharini nicky d and me (for such a handsome boy, nicky d fails at taking pictures a good 90% of the time)

dharini and anna

roland me and hugh

me and bekka

me and chrissy

hughie and me

amy and anna

i can't imagine anna loving me for putting this picture up but i liked how mcbain was in it. he was one of those people in vegas who stand and hand out flyers of strippers. it was funny cause he asked me for help and i was like "honey, i haven't been to vegas in years. but here try this..." and anyway anna and hughie look cute anyway.

anna me hugh and nicky d (he's really the reason i put this picture in)

hugh nicky d and ben. how cute do they all look in their suits.

nicky d me and ben

anna did a good job looking appropriately sleazy for the party.

so anyway it was a pretty fun ball.

Chapter 2: Beck's Boys

for such a beautiful girl, she really is a bit tactless sometimes. her antics certainly make for fantastic storytelling though.

so beck meets this john's guy in her law classes, hooks up with him and comes to realize that he has a fantastic set of abs. which she, at the time, talked about a lot. she subsequently stalks him on facebook and manages to get a coffee date and everything sounds pretty good. yay! well then interhall ball rolls around (more to come on that story) and the antics begin.

so were all at the interhall ball. which has free drinks. so people were going a bit heavy on the drinks. but either way its really just cheap beer and cheap champagne mixed with orange juice. and beck, the picture of sobriety that she is, manages to be convinced by shaz and anna that her beloved john's boy and his fantastic abs are gay.

it was really funny too cause all of us but annaliese beck and dharini had never seen him before and beck had built him up in our minds as this adonis of a man. so i was really expecting someone pretty fantastic and manly. she kept repeating how he was so manly. so i was really expecting to be impressed

so i mean when we saw him i think we all had higher expectations that really couldn't possibly have been fulfilled unless she'd brought over like hugh jackman (as wolverine, not in australia or van helsing or the prestige or any of those others where he's not awesome) or something. but anyway so we see him and it was just sort of like

"seriously? seriously? that's him? he's not behind that guy? am i looking in the right place?" but no that was him so i vaguely recall me and hugh having a little chuckle. but hey she was happy so i wasn't going to say anything. maybe it was cause she emphasized his manliness and because he'd been built up so much but when i looked at him i thought hmm.. he looks kind of effeminate.

not because he was in a pink shirt or anything. he just gave me that vibe. but it could be because i was expecting him to be so manly that when he wasn't it just went in the complete opposite direction.

well anyway shaz and anna apparently thought the same as i did and managed to convince beck that she should be worried that he was gay. not really sure what possessed them to tell her. cause i mean i thought it but i wasn't about to tell her HEY YOUR "MAN" LOOKS LIKE HE JUST MIGHT NOT BE THAT INTO YOU.

so anyway they manage to scare her so much so that next time she sees him she asks him "hey are you gay? cause that;s cool with me as long as i can touch your abs" and he grabbed her and kissed her so i was like ok that's kind of suave actually.

unfortunately the suave-ness stopped there. cause afterward she was trying to contact him and he was like super jerk status and he like wouldnt talk to her or anything even after she apologized.

so after she apologized and he wouldn't talk to her we were all like what the heck what a jerk. and she told us this story about how her sister was going out with this guy that she met where she would swim laps every day and she really liked and then i think she left for somewhere or something and when she came back she tried to contact him and he just never responded and she went to the pool and he was never there. which led her the conclusion that he must be dead. so it was always like "Yeah its a bummer he never called me back. but its okay, he must be dead" hahahahha so anyway beck was sad because she was saying, "BUT I KNOW HES NOT DEAD SO I CAN'T EVEN USE THAT EXCUSE! IT WOULD BE OKAY IF I COULD JUST SAY OH IT'S FINE HE HASN'T CALLED ME BECAUSE HE'S DEAD BUT I KNOW HE'S NOT!!" hahahahahahaha

i told her "its ok you can always just use the excuse, 'it's okay cause i made him realize he is secretly gay and when he's someday very happy with his husband he will thank me'" but she didn't seem to like that.

so anyway

it was so bad that one night i was supposed to be studying and dharini and annaliese didn't want to go out and chrissy was MIA and so beck and hugh went out together. and they saw him out and all of his friends like cornered beck and were like harassing her and telling her "i can't believe you thought he was gay of course he's not gay" blah blah blah. apparently he was really bothered by it AND TOLD ALL OF JOHN'S ABOUT IT? cause that's normal?

so drunk her and drunk hugh left and apparently sat outside unilodge and stared at this neon-ey statuey thing for a really long time (they'd been saying they were going to do it all year) and pondered why both of them were good looking but both consistently screw up with the opposite gender.

and then they came over and we took care of them because although beck was better at sobriety tests than hugh, she was still not passing them.

here's a picture of us. i thought it was cute. courtesy of the timer on my camera and the window ledge.

Chapter 3: Hugh the Great Destroyer

so the prequel to all of this is my post from Friday, May 28, 2010
"russians and birthdays, makeup and mustaches. (now with amendments!)"... so you dont have to go back and read it, i'll quote it here...

so i go with him to look for it and we walk up to the elevator which has all these bulletin boards next to it and they're usually covered in papers but there's all these papers on the floor and i'm like ? and hugh just looks at me with this HUGE smile on his face.

and i'm like what the heck? and he's like "i did it" and he was incredibly proud of himself.

so i start cracking up. and then the elevator comes to take us down two floors. and the giant smile comes back when the doors open because the floor IS COVERED IN FLYERS. and i think our conversation went a bit like this





"ok well you've gotta stop!!"

so basically we get out of the elevator and there's a whole bulletin board FULL of things hugh hasnt yet pulled down. so NATURALLY he goes CRAZY on it. and i'm going DUDE!!!

so basically i grab him around the stomach and attempt to pull him away as he claws for the flyers. i'd imagine it would have been pretty funny to see; he's a good 8 inches taller than me.

so basically then we find a key in the computer lab that he's convinced is his. but since there's like 10 other people in there and i'm not sure if it's one of theirs, i force him to try it on his door so that he hadn't just stolen someone else's key. well first floor (which he lives on) has posters all over the walls (cause mcbain likes to decorate, i think) and it's pretty cool, it gives the place character.

now i'm not saying hugh went clawing for them, and i'm not saying he succeeded. all i'm saying is, i really hope nobody was watching us on stalker cam or they'd have been dying of laughter.

and today we got to see a bit of the carnage that he left behind. there's ripped bits of paper still stuck to some of the bulletin boards from where he ripped off the flyers and i'm pretty sure he;s still just as proud of himself.

and then another time we were walking around and it was the day after he'd had a big night and there's this door with a poster of a cartoon girl like dragging a katana behind her. it's all very kill bill-esque. well it had a fat rip down the middle and hugh was like "yeah that was my bad"

so basically that night after he and beck stared at the neon flower pot they came back and i walked him home because i didn't trust him making it home if he had to walk by himself. which was a good thing cause i live next door to my floor's CA (community advisor or assistant or something--like they split the RA job in two and RAs do write ups and lock outs and etc and CAs do all the events and stuff) and she has a lot of things on her door (post its, a white board, informative thingys etc) and hugh decides that he wants to write on her white board. but its already got writing on it so he goes crazy on it and i'm, again, holding him around the middle futilely trying to drag him away as he claws at the whiteboard and effectively erases most of it.

so then he finishes and states how he wants to write her a message. so i'm like fine. i'll indulge you this time since YOU ALREADY WIPED EVERYTHING OFF. well then there's no white board pen so what does he do, he grabs the pen meant for the post its and tries to start writing. fortunately i stop him first and managed to drag him away telling him the pen was wrong as he tells me with big sad puppy dog eyes...

i just wanted to write 'yo mutha'

hahahahahaha so anyway it was probably a good thing he didn't write that in ballpoint pen on her whiteboard.

so skipping ahead to the future (because it's convenient and because it fits with this string of ideas of hugh as the great destroyer) comes hugh's birthday. (ok so i skipped pretty far into the future. whatever. on this blog I AM THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE) ANYWAY

his birthday (october 8, which was after the mid semester break but whatever) hugh dharini beck louis chrissy and me celebrated together. we went to phoenix which is a pretty cool bar and then to unipub and hugh, chrissy, louis and i sat there under a heater and talked for a while which was really cool while beck and dharini were MIA.

but when they came back they wanted to go to mooseheads so louis and i excused ourselves. i choose not to go to mooseheads (lovingly dubbed moose or moosies) because a) its super sleazy (seriously) and b) i need my passport to go in and i hate carrying it around so i usually just cut out early when it comes to going to moosies. so anyway i figured hugh would be fine with dharini beck and chrissy and i told him if he wanted, to come over after and we'd watch the new episode of the inbetweeners and so louis and i walked home.

well hugh comes over less than an hour later. and chrissy tried to buy him his (and seemingly everyone else here) favorite shot which is vodka, peach schnapps and a little bit of cranberry. so anyway she tried to order them that but the guy at the bar had no idea what she wanted and made them some crazy drink with absinthe and 151 (possibly an abc shot?) and it's apparently larger than a shot, more expensive and COMPLETELY knocks hugh out. but i didn't know that at the time.

so anyway he walked home with beck and dharini (i think chrissy had found other people to hang out with) and they leave him as he goes up in the elevator to my apartment.

he's very very very drunk. but seemed completely normal so i figured he was fine. like he seemed much more normal than i'd ever seen him before drunk. oh and i was totally sober as usual by the way. and we watched the inbetweeners and everything seemed normal. the only thing he did that seemed weird was that at one point when i was getting him water and he was drinking it by our sink he put his hand on my head moved it slightly to rumple my hair with his eyes closed and a big smile on his face and said something like "thats payback [for always touching his hair]...your hair's really soft!" and i was like well it doesn't really bother me and thanks i conditioned it.

but i mean apart from that he seemed pretty normal. i assumed he was just kind of tipsy.

he wasnt.

he was going home the next morning so i figured he'd have to be up relatively early and i was for some reason and he calls me..

hi hughie whats up
hey so i just got a call from matt the res dean
haha why
apparently i pulled down all of the posters on the first floor. matt called me and was like "what were you doing around 230 am this morning" and i was like uh.. and he was like "well we have some footage of you pulling down the posters on the first floor"
so now i have to write a letter of apology to mcbain and ben.
HAHAHAHHAA oh my god i'm so sorry i would have walked you home last night but you ASSURED me several times when i asked you that you were totally fine to walk yourself home
it's ok
i'm sorry!!
i figure at least it's just mcbain and ben. they know me.
yeah that's not too bad

and then he wanted to know if he could read me his letter of apology and it basically said "sorry i was extremely intoxicated because it was my birthday. i'll pay for any of the posters and help with any of the damages."

i checked out the carnage for him later and a lot of the posters were ripped down the middle with half of it still on the wall and the other half hanging down. a few were still intact (including the romeo and juliet poster he wanted to steal before) but were just laying on the ground. the carnage was pretty intense.

fortunately for him, mcbain didn't care terribly because he'd gotten the posters from his work. but there aren't any up in the corridor anymore. and i don't let him walk home alone. apparently it had become a bit of a joke with 117 for the few days after, though. which is completely expected. i'm still laughing about it.

Chapter 4: You know there's something wrong when I'm one of the best ice skaters.

because really, i'm pretty much the clumsiest person on the planet. me and being good at ice skating are not synonymous. but apparently because their climate is so lovely usually, the australians are not notorious for their iceskating skills.

chrissy got a MASSIVE bruise on her knee. she was trying to dance to ke$ha's tik tok and completely stacked it. meanwhile i'm skating towards her but not getting too close cause i don't want to accidentally cut off one of her fingers or something while shes getting up. hahaha

meanwhile adam fell a grand total of 10 times within a two hour span ("half the number of times i fell last time!") but he seemed mostly alright.

here's a picture of him getting helped up...

or at least he didn't appear to have any ridiculous bruises like chrissy did. her knee was messed up for the next two months. seriously. here's a picture...

here's some pictures...

the iceskating rink doubled as a pool...or maybe the pool was somewhere else. yes that would probably make a whole lot more sense. anyway this was a sign that was up. courtesy of chrissy who took the picture. and that's will that's in it.

chrissy being pulled by wufeng

rachel and courtney

tall james and will


will, wufeng, courtney and chrissy

courtney, wufeng and his popsickle, chrissy and will

blonde james (he was not bad at iceskating except for the time he rammed into courtney) and me

me and chrissy

adam wufeng and me looking stupid

will, blonde james, wufeng, adam, chrissy and courtney.

yay group photos!!

adam, tall james, rachel, chrissy, wufeng, me, courtney and will

adam, rachel, blonde james, chrissy, wufeng, me and will

so we left when the iceskating rink closed. but the bus that we took there decided it was going to be uber late in picking us up. which was AWESOME cause it was raining and we were freezing. but it was still fun anyway. here's how we kept ourselves entertained...

it was quite a wait and they didnt start singing till later. clearly, they got to at least 81 before the bus finally came...


so then when i get home later that night i decided to watch eureka. and the guy from battlestar galactica was on it and he starts making an allusion to battlestar galactica and i was really excited cause i was like HA HA I GET THE IN-JOKE. well i'll let you read the messages...

Wendy Muraoka September 5 at 5:10am
haha so i was watching this other show with gaius in it and the characters are all hallucinating and theyre like "i forgot to ask, who are you hallucinating?" and hes like "a tall leggy blonde in a slinky red dress" and i was like HAHA HES TALKING ABOUT CAPRICA! so anyway i had to tell someone cause i thought i was pretty clever recognizing it and i wasnt about to post it on your wall cause thats too geeky, even for me.

Hugh Fagan September 5 at 6:35am
yer thats awesome, so what show was this

Hugh Fagan September 5 at 6:42am
yer cause im still on my gap yar, sppritua cultural political exchange experince thing yer cause im kinda of in prison, turns out there pretty brutal but yer than i just CHUNDERED everywhere, yar amazing just like philip, but btw im in Burma prison cause i like raped a chick but its alright cause im on this like cultural spritiual political experience exchange thing yar and then i just like i was treking in the andes and the sun was just rising and glinting in the snow creating this kind of entheral haze and i really got this sense of the awesome power nature and the insignifance of man and then i just CHUNDERED everywhere and i was like have that nature 1-0 made a little vom cano all the little chunklets froze, no no yer yer so right global warming it really is a insignificant truth cause it really reminds me of this time of now cause I'm on still on my gap year on this kind of political cultural political exchange thing, yer cause I'm kinda of in prison.

(so clearly it took him at least 7 minutes to type all that....)

Wendy Muraoka September 5 at 3:52pm
its called eureka and what was that last message about?? how drunk are you??

Hugh Fagan September 5 at 5:56pm
i was incredibly intoxicated at that moment

Wendy Muraoka September 5 at 7:11pm
hahahahah no kidding. what started you on that strange tangent? and did you come up with the phrase "vom cano" and the word "chunklets" by yourself cause those were pretty frickin brilliant.

Hugh Fagan September 5 at 10:48pm
unfortunatley nto it was the brilliance of this man

Wendy Muraoka September 6 at 12:39am
you should have just taken the credit. it was way funnier when i thought you were tripping

unfortunately the video isnt as funny as it would have sounded. but when i first read that message i was like HUGH IS ON MAJOR DRUGS. and i sent it to brittani and we were like DID HE GET ROOFIED OR SOMETHING?? turns out no, though. he was just extremely drunk. i still think its funny though. not the video. the fact that it took him seven minutes to spew out bits and pieces of the video. and that he was willing to take seven minutes to type that to me. what a weird kid.

so anyway when he got back to canberra that weekend from home hed gotten a really awful haircut. and then for some reason decided to give himself an excessively seedy goatee to go along with it. before we all told him to go back downstairs and not to come back up until hed gotten rid of it. here's a picture though...

and funny enough, when i finally decided to upload pictures to facebook, facebook's new facial recognition software thought hugh with his eyes closed was the same person as asian wufeng. hahahahahahahah EPIC FACEBOOK FAIL. race relations may or may not have been taken back a decade with this software.


Chapter 5: Dha and Bah, Beck was fully sober. I swear.

so beck gets in moods sometimes. where she gets really goofy. and all of us were making jokes at the expense of dharini because her and brett had finally become a couple. and for some reason beck had become convinced that brett seemed like the type of dude who would talk to his socks as he folded them. dharini was anything but pleased. in the beginning at least. what followed was about a half an hour (possibly more) of comedic genius. so long as you count sock puppetry in your definition of it...


if you listen carefully, you can hear dharini correcting beck's lines...


too many hims...


she finally got it right


and then she was given another sock...


"why are you making me sound like a retard!?" said dharini.


beck was going to have a drool spot inside the hood.


beck telling the story of her and alex the johns boy who she called gay.

Chapter 6: Unilodge is good at soccer

so despite unilodge being iffy and getting the short end of the stick on the rest of the arts and athletics things, we were pretty good at soccer. the girls got to the semi finals but lost the last game before the finals which sucked. i mean i thought it was awesome we made it that far but annaliese who was on the team wasnt ecstatic about it. nonetheless they still did awesome.

the boys made it to the final against johns, though, which was totally awesome. and although they didnt win (they lost in like second overtime or maybe it was third...) they were still great and they had to be awesome just to get there. nicky d was the goalie and he was seriously really good. it was really cool too cause for the first time unilodge had a huge crowd at an event. we at least matched johns. it was really exciting heres some pictures.

this thing was really really annoying. people kept unplugging it and then unilodge administrators kept plugging it back in. eventually they stopped though and everyone was grateful.

some of our crowd

from left to right, annaliese, amy, me, and bekka

and heres nicky d being goalie...

so anyway it was really cold out but it was definitely worth watching. i have a bunch of pictures but none of them are particularly good so im not putting them here. but the game was made more fun by the fact that annaliese and amy would get way into it and shout at the ref occasionally and the fact that we had nicknames for a lot of the players. on johns there were two extremely "short shorts boy"s, and then there was "necklace boy" who was wearing a giant fat necklace thingy. it was like as thick as a lei but was made out of material. he was a jerk but a good player and we did not like him. and then on unilodge there was blue shoes guy and red shoes guy and blue shorts guy. hahaha it was fun.

and then at the end of the game everyone lined up so that the boys could run through an alley of all of us. it was cute.

and then because theyd lost annaliese and anna made nickyd a cake. it was cute. and a little bit pathetic because they burnt it and then had to cut off the burnt bits so it was pretty small and then they had so much frosting left that they doused it in it and then it was so heavy the cake gave underneath the frosting and then they tried to write his name in m and ms but they ran out of room. but it was really cute and sweet anyway.

so anyway. that was a few weeks of my life. next up, bollywood, bubblewrap suits and birthdays...

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